10 handy hints for the ‘don’t get it’ Dad

desperado-here-1507747-639x1342Here are 10 hints, statements, bits of advice for the Daddies that ‘don’t get it’.  You know who you are.  The Dads who actually did think that a new baby wouldn’t change much of their life, the Dads who have a set unwavering view on how it should be.  The Dads who seem to think that they are the only ones struggling with this new parenthood lark.

Based on what I’ve read, what I’ve experienced and what I’ve heard from friends, colleagues and acquaintances, here are some statements of truth that aren’t coming from the mouth of the rather crazy, incoherent Mother.  This is honesty and not nagging – sometimes we just need to tell it like it is.

We know that in the majority of cases you really do love your family with all your heart, it’s just that maybe you aren’t always right. A big ‘high five’ to the Dads who do ‘get it’ though! 🙂

  1.  When your wife/girlfriend/partner calls down to you for help in the evening, chances are, she could really do with some help.  She isn’t trying to deliberately ruin your evening of chilling with a beer, gaming, or watching the match. More likely is that your child has had a major vomiting episode, has had a poo-explosion or has a slight temperature.  During these times, Mums need support.
  2. If the child has been unwell during the night, it is usually not allowed for them to carry on as normal the following day.  Standard diarrhoea and/or vomiting is a nursery-exclusion for 48 hours from the last episode. Tough luck.
  3. A crying episode usually happens when a child is unhappy.  This could be for all manner of reasons, from hungry through to just feeling a little bit p*ssed off.  Hell, we all feel like that sometimes.  Telling your child to be quiet, or indeed, grow up, won’t help. They just need a bit of love and patience……..a lot of patience. Trust me.
  4. Women are all different, some love receiving romantic gestures like chocolates and flowers, some just like a cuddle (with no strings attached), some want you to just get out the house.  More than likely, the way to the Mother’s heart is to offer to  help with anything.  Anything. Unloading the dishwasher, making a cup of tea, taking the child for a drive in the car so Mummy can have a bath, are all far more likely to lead to some bedroom action than a box of reduced chocolates from the supermarket.
  5. Tights are not leggings.
  6. The slightly stained plain long-sleeved t-shirt should go under the pretty new t-shirt, not over it.  I know, usually the smaller vest is the under garment, but in this case, it’s the other way round.
  7. If you’ve been out and about all morning, are a little late for lunch, and your child is crying and whinging, it’s because you’ve been out and about and lunch is late.  Do not take this out on your child.  It isn’t their fault. It’s yours.
  8. If your child is climbing all over you whilst you’re watching tv and you keep having to tell them to be quiet or not lean on you, it’s likely to be because you’re watching some tv.  Turn it off and pay them some attention.
  9. When a young child knocks something off the table or spills their drink, it’s probably an accident.  Telling them to use their eyes, stop being so clumsy or generally just scolding them for the accident isn’t fair.  They have 18 years to learn how to be an adult.  Give them time to learn – it takes an age.
  10. When you feel like you’ve made an awful mistake becoming a parent as your life is just non-existent now, chances are the Mother has felt like that occasionally too.  She may not show it in front of her child, or you, but trust me, it is just as daddy-loves-me-1435409-639x577hard if not harder for her.

These years will pass like a flash, so take the rough with the smooth and enjoy this precious life you helped to create.

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Amelia Salisbury

A thirty-something working Mum of one who devotes her spare time to helping other paranoid, worrying, stressed parents who are trying to juggle careers and parenthood.

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